Chevy Chase's character Clark Griswold:
“Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one! I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight! I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane, with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here! With a big ribbon on his head...and I want to look him straight in the eye... and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, fore-fleshing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d!@kless, hopeless, heartless, fat-@ss, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey s@!t he is!! Hallelujah! Holy @$*$!! Where's the Tylenol!?”
Of course, substitute Frank Shirley with your preferred favorite person, make some modifications and you can use this year round! Now don't forget to memorize it!!!